Grateful for Roller Coasters..Six Flags Anyone?
Day 77...grateful for times of uncertainty. Ok lets be honest, I don't know many people who would openly admit they enjoy not knowing what's ahead. We make plans..whether it's a retirement plan, a 5 year plan, weekend plans or what's for dinner. As someone who enjoys planning kids' birthday parties, date nights with the hubs, or you know, life..it can be extremely hard when life throws you something you couldn't possibly imagine..
When I was a kid, "the plan" was to graduate college, get married, have 2 children, Teach, and NEVER EVER leave Kentuckiana, my hometown. Well the plan was in place...I graduated from University of Louisville and married the love of my life. Ok everything is going as planned, "Oh, but you forgot one tiny, little detail Lisa"...weeks after getting married, I was wisked away to Jackson, Mississippi. "Um what???" Ok so I knew I wanted to marry Jeremy, I knew he was pursuing a career that would potentially mean moving away from home, but WOW this was really happening. I soon found myself 8 hours away from the only home I knew for 22 years and I was scared, actually more like petrified. That was just the beginning of many times we would decide to uproot the family and move away to pursue Jeremy's broadcast meteorology career.
Each time was hard for me. I am very close to my family and have a tribe of friends back home that make leaving very difficult. However, it was important to me as a wife, to support Jeremy's dream. We started a family, and had Landon 5 years after getting married. Ashlynn would arrive a couple years later. After moving away multiple times, I know that was certainly not "the plan" I imagined for myself, but it was a "better plan". It was SCARY, VERY uncomfortable time but ended up resulting in some exciting years for our family. It was a time to lean into our faith, our marriage, and strangers that eventually became lifelong friends. When we moved to Kansas, that allowed me to be able to stay at home with our babies. That was a dream of my own. I wasn't teaching at a school as planned, but I was raising and teaching my children at home, a blessing I will forever be grateful for.
Today my family is presented with uncertainty once again. When we moved to New York, our current circumstance was in NO WAY, "the plan" I saw for my family. It has been a roller coaster ride since Jan 6th. The judgements made on my husband, my family were appalling, unjust, and unacceptable. Somedays I wake up and wonder if I were to get sick, could the ride stop, maybe for a moment so I could catch my breath? And then I realize it does. Just a couple nights ago, I had an amazing date with the man I call my best friend. I woudn't trade my seat next to him on this crazy ride for anything.
Right now, I hear the muddled voices of Jeremy and Jack Allen as they cover a tornado outbreak in the West downstairs. I beam with pride at the man I married almost 17 years ago, and the friends that have come along to help us. Yes, the plans we made have changed drastically. But what I have learned is that with each challenge comes a time to trust in the Lord with all my heart and not rely on my own understanding Proverbs 3:5. His plan is always better. It has been so far.
I hear my children playing in the room next to me. It is peaceful as I write in my bedroom tonight. I am still and know God has the harness wrapped around my loved ones, tighter than ever. I just have to hold on and TRUST. Lucky for me, God knows I love a good roller coaster.
Love,
Lisa Ray