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Dear Younger Me
Lisa Ray Kappell
/ Categories: Family and Faith

Dear Younger Me

Dear Younger Me,

Looking back I see an awkward girl with glasses, braces and big hair. I spent most of my younger years trying to fit in, living for the weekends, and making lots of bad decisions. Wow, would I love to go back and sit down with the younger me. I'd want to shake her and tell her to get her act together, much like my parents wanted at the time, I'm sure.

As I get ready to turn the Big 4-0, there is so much I want to tell that insecure, little girl. I want to hug her and let her know, "You are loved by someone even bigger then your mom and dad. That no amount of brand name clothes, number on the scale, or hanging with "the cool kids" could ever come close. That fads come and go, but He does not."

It took me a long time in my journey to come to that realization, I was a rebellious teen and an even more careless young adult. Having fun was the only thing on my mind. But then I met a man, got swept off my feet, got married, and moved to Jackson, Mississippi.. 8 hours from home! I want to hug this scared young woman and tell her, "It's going to be okay. You will miss your family, but He is with you wherever you go."

Mississippi would be the first of many places you and Jeremy will call home. God will place beautiful people in your path to help you along the way. While many adventures and memories will unfold, you will continue to miss home. 

A few years later, We would move back home and later give birth to a son. Motherhood is beautiful and scary all wrapped up in one. I want to hug this new, anxious mom and let her know, "This boy will change your life, be the best thing that ever happened to you. You are going to mess up time and time again, but the love between a mother and a child is the most precious gift there is. Try and cherish "the lasts" as much as you do "the firsts". Before you blink, your baby boy will be a PRE-TEEN!”

Life will bring some of the greatest loves of your life..friendships will change, close ones will pass away, a miscarriage will crush your heart, but I will hug her and tell her, “Life goes on, grieve the loss, but cherish the memories, and love on those that are here. When you feel sad, God is near.”

As years pass, another move later, another beautiful child, life will get busy. I want to hug this stressed out young lady and tell her, "It’s okay. Slow down, hold your babies a little tighter, be polite to your spouse, slow to speak, have a sense of humor, and know you only have so many energies in a day…so pick wisely! We are all flawed and that makes relationships messy! When you really give your whole heart, I gaurantee that person will let you down. But keep in mind, you have let others down too, so show grace everyday!"

As time goes on, you will move back home..cherish that time, for it is short. An amazing opportunity will arise in New York…Tell them NO WAY!!! In all honesty, I have asked myself that time and time again. Would I tell the younger me to stay or go? I would hug her and tell her, “Go child. Be brave, hold on because it’s about to be the most terrifying time of your life. You and your family will be judged, ridiculed, and bullied by strangers. Your health will fade both physically and mentally. You will feel desperation like never before and question the goodness of God and humanity. Your valley will seem deep, but God will place a parachute of people to save you from your fall. Bumps, bruises, and many scars later will bring the most beautiful thing you will witness, a community coming together to lift up a family in need.”

As a woman about to turn 40, He will hug me and tell me to “be patient”. He is not done with me yet. I have learned that part of getting older, is the gift of the journey that molds you. I did not see myself as a co-host, blogger, “weathertainer” on Wxlive , but when you trust God’s plan instead of your own, His is always better!

Love, 

Lisa Ray

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